Swagazine #4

Soft Kiss    by Ricky Garni

Taking the cap off of a pen is almost precisely the same as taking the cap off of a syringe.

In dreams, you can access ability. It's always the same sensation: suddenly you can speak French, you can fly, or you can play the guitar like Andre Segovia did before he died.

All dreams have water in them if you look hard enough.

There are good composers and bad composers. Good composers have names that are beautiful to hear: Elgar, Chopin, Fauré, etc. And it is just the opposite with bad composers in that you want to jump through a glass rooftop (as in a poorly-made action-adventure movie) when you hear their names: Schostakovich, etc.

In dreams, anyone can play any instrument but everyone should play the flute. It's easy to carry, and it's silver.

Most men, eventually, find a tube of lipstick in their bed before they die, regardless of whether or not they die in bed. I think it's called a "tube."

If you can't fall asleep, try saying the word "Krypton." While making love, say the word "kryptonite."

The reason that everyone has nightmares in the 20th century is that, at some point, they watched and listened as "Shine On Harvest Moon" played on a player piano.

In dreams, bourbon is nectar. When, in the Bible, they speak of "manna," they actually mean "bourbon." The last word to escape Pandora was "bourbon." When, in France, they say "Je t'aime" it actually means "I love bourbon." Charles Foster Kane's last words were: "I think I could go for a bourbon" and then "Rosebud."

There isn't a man alive who would take a bus ride and walk a mile or more in order to see the handwriting of James Joyce, as I did in my dream.

Love letters, I discovered in a dream, burn at the same temperature as standard notarized documents or legal statements or even notarized love letters, of which there are a few, although they tend to be rare.

Marching music should never be played at all, not even loudly. Soldiers are fine, though, and do a very good job.

At some point, everyone quits their jobs in their dreams.

There will come a time when you, the reader, will cover your mouth in surprise as you read the paper and say: "But he was so young!" and think of all the dreams that you have lived through in your life. Exactly half of them were beautiful, exactly half of them were not.


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