Two College Students in Bed
by Earth Shoe
"I hate life," she said.
He was silent, then said, "I want to have sex."
"I don't," she said.
"I hate life, too, then."
"Isn't it meaningless? And every concept that could possibly be uplifting -- Good, Beauty, Truth -- is so vague we can't even talk about it for more than ninety seconds without wanting to kill each other or go on a diet. Do you have any beer?"
"I don't like beer. It's not healthy. Have some bourbon."
"I don't like bourbon."
"I hate life," he said.
A few cars went by. One of them beeped insanely.
"I hate school," she said. "School is so meaningless."
"Emily, your pessimism is really turning me on." She looked over at his dark form and said, "So?"
"Emily, I want to have sex so much I could cry."
"Emily, you're meaningless."
"Everything is meaningless. I want some beer."
"Beer is meaningless. Let's have sex."
He tried to remain calm. "Emily, why not? Nothing so physically raw and biologically sensible could be meaningless."
She was silent. "OK, we can have sex." He sighed with profound relief, then reached towards her. "Wait!" she commanded, "I changed my mind." He pulled the pillow over his face and mumbled something hateful. Emily lit a cigarette, smiled, and said, "I love life. Life is so great."
He turned to her. "Emily, when you go to sleep tonight, could you do something for me?"
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