Editor's note: I've highlighted the impersonations posted by the biffer in navy to make the course of events easier to follow.
94Aug12 4:04 pm from Real Mike Swanson Is the biffer REALLY the sysop? I am beginning to wonder. I'm not sure you could do that so quickly dialing in from a modem. Is there perhaps another more secure BBS where we might continue what we do here? This place is, it seems, no longer viable. The sysop is either a biffer, or will not do the routine tasks necessary to maintain conversations. 94Aug12 4:14 pm from Soul Eater This is Wraith, with my alter ego. or something. 94Aug12 5:00 pm Zeylan here, from What the FUCK?! We could always call Swagland. It's pretty loose, but there are two problems with that system: It is only 2400 baud, and it's ALWAYS busy. Almost as bad as this place. But it IS biff-proof, which is always a plus. 94Aug12 5:01 pm Zeylan here, from What the FUCK?! And the sysop there is cool, not a lazy lop like the sysop of this place. 94Aug12 6:23 pm from Real Mike Swanson Well, I'm about to give up on this place. Sad thing is if the sysop would just check in once a day, he could restore backups. As it is, some pimplyfaced teeenage biffer is ruining it for everyone. I'm not keen Swagland. 2400 baud (bleah) and jerks like "Sizzle." 94Aug12 6:51 pm Zeylan here, from What the FUCK?! That's why I stopped calling for a while. Fuck Sizzle, he's been the asshole of telecom from the beginning. He was the original BOARD BIFFER, and he's a prick. But he's Swagman's buddy, so he gets away with anything and everything. I see what you mean. Okay. So it looks like maybe I should change the format of my BBS back to Asgard. 94Aug12 11:59 pm from Elron Will someone please tell me why i have to make a new goddamned account here every week 94Aug13 12:07 am Zeylan here, from What the FUCK?! Because people like you keep biffing the board. 94Aug13 1:29 am from The REAL Hobgoblin I'm just curious, but why, Oh SysOp, did you change my PW, along with the PW of all other users on the board? 94Aug13 1:31 am from The REAL Hobgoblin I don't get it. 94Aug13 3:05 am from Real Mike Swanson I think it's ridiculous that Sizzle gets away with anything because he's Swagman's buddy. That's why I won't call. 94Aug13 10:10 am from The REAL Piss Jar I'm not the fake Piss Jar. 94Aug13 10:34 am from The REAL Hobgoblin This place sucks. I HATE this. I KNOW! Let's take over the asgard section on the Void! 94Aug13 12:04 pm Zeylan here, from What the FUCK?! No. Systems with two operating systems suck. Like I said, I could always switch over to Asgard. 94Aug13 12:52 pm from Real Mike Swanson But would that be a hardship on you? I understand your BBS has some unique features...would you be happy with Asgard? I've always prefered Asgard myself... The irony is all we really need is someplace where the sysop will take 5 minutes or so per day just to prevent biffing. It's a shame we all have to leave Gooble, but I don't see any alternative. 94Aug13 3:27 pm Zeylan here, from What the FUCK?! My BBS ran under Asgard for a few months. I had it all tricked out with logon quotes and a few door programs, and had it networked, and other various things, but then I started getting creative with rewriting Renegade and such. The ideal would be if the "sysop" (and I use the term loosely) here would assign someone responsible with the task of running the BBS. Someone who knows how to do it. 94Aug13 3:38 pm from Real Mike Swanson Yeah. I've tried chatting with him and leaving e-mail, to no avail. He does not seem cognizant that everyone is about to leave his BBS for good. I'd switch to your board if you jump to Asgard. The problem is the sort of climate we once had here is completely dependant on Asgard-type message bases, yet I hesitate to suggest that you change your whole board. 94Aug13 4:41 pm UP the AsS from Soul Eater We could all migrate to the Asgard on the Void. 6854345. 94Aug13 6:16 pm From Sputnik from dunno Maybe the sysop hasgiven up on us. HA slost all faith, and hates us all. "Im saddened." MAybe he wants us al to leave this board. I cry. ::( 94Aug13 6:25 pm Zeylan here, from What the FUCK?! The Void is cool and Null is cool, but Asgard running as a door is a real shitter. No thanks. 94Aug13 7:50 pm from dunno This sucks. Im bored. Why did I call? 94Aug13 9:40 pm UP the AsS from Soul Eater because its a shitter. 94Aug13 9:46 pm from dunno yea 94Aug13 11:00 pm from Chelsey Batgirl My god I'm either going to piss or go blind if these fucking introductory sign in new user shit slits open the slate of my disagreement! 94Aug14 12:16 am from The REAL Hobgoblin um. What? 94Aug14 5:27 am from Real Mike Swanson He's just the biffer. Ignore him. 94Aug14 9:34 am from Swagman Sizzle hasn't called for months, and he wasn't the original Biffer, his little brother was. But that's not to discount subsequent biffing expeditions of his own. I remember when he and Misha hacked the entire Enterprise userlist from my living room while Zepp was watching "Full Metal Jacket" on the video. Ho hum... But I wonder, what difference does 2400 baud make on a conversation board? You can barely keep up with the screen feed anyway at 2400. Any of you are welcome to call, but I really couldn't care if you don't. For the next couple of days, the old ORIGINAL Digital Dungeon software is running for the sake of nostalgia, but so what. 94Aug14 10:05 am from Real Mike Swanson Hmm. To me, 2400 is now painfully slow; even on a message board. (Ironic, I suppose, since I was around back in the 300 baud days of the early to mid-80s.) I'm also concerned because Swagland is already pretty busy and if we bring the whole party over there (including those on vacation, such as Psyche, Yacub) we'll never get through. Are you sure using Void is completely out, Zeylan? What do you dislike about nested BBS programs? 94Aug14 10:38 am Always in delirium from LoS I personally don't like Renegade to Asgard boards. The other way around would be coul, if possable, which I think it is. anyone who knows what they're doing could do it. I know, I'll get a second line and start a bbs. But It would be slow mind you. 2400 is all I got. maybe once I have a job it will go to 14.4 and above xt. But I'm getting a 286 soon so it won't be that hideous. 94Aug14 10:57 am from The REAL Hobgoblin LoS, do it! 94Aug14 11:03 am from Real Mike Swanson But that will take quite a while. 94Aug14 11:18 am Zeylan here, from What the FUCK?! And we'd have to deal with Lack of Sleep as a sysop. No thanks. 94Aug14 11:38 am UP the AsS from Soul Eater i am neutral, i am switzlerland. btw, psyche already calls swag. 94Aug14 12:51 pm from Real Mike Swanson I'm not too keen on LoS as a sysop either. Think about it. I'm considering the Void, or perhaps just giving up on this little tea party. 94Aug14 1:26 pm Zeylan here, from What the FUCK?! Here's what I'm talking about... I've been trying to call Swagland since noon. It's now almost three o'clock. FUCK THAT. I don't have that kind of time, where I have to redial for half a day just to read messages from the likes of Sizzle and Tom Tech. And Void is always busy, too; half the problem there is that there are two systems on one phone number. One is Asgard, the other is something else, why bother. 94Aug14 1:41 pm from The REAL Hobgoblin Use people for their phone lines. Incidentally, there is a user here who has a phone line which is unused every other week.. I'll ask him next month. 94Aug14 2:02 pm UP the AsS from Soul Eater Zeylan, you can't get through because Math Blaster is on Gaiasys playing Crossroads. I recommend calling there and telling Math Blasters to get off the phone. 94Aug14 3:30 pm from Real Mike Swanson Yeah, that's what I was thinking, Zeylan. I don't want to autodial for hours at a time just to read messages from Tom "Work Break" Tech and "cool stylish insults and wit" from Sizzle. We were all relieved enough here when that wart Majority of One/PCO fell off a few months ago. I'm not sure what the answer is. 94Aug14 4:15 pm from Penryn Oh, hi. I tried my password, but it didn't work. Someone else wants my name. THIS IS PSYCHE by the way. When we were driving up north I saw this town called Penryn, and I thought it was nifty, so here I am. But I'll be asSasd Psyche now. 94Aug14 4:15 pm from from Psyche See? Ok, here I am. 94Aug14 5:32 pm from The REAL Hobgoblin Hm. Hi! 94Aug14 5:51 pm from dunno shes back! 94Aug14 5:52 pm from Spoot-nick!* I mean. "shes back!" Hurrah! cheer! Some foolio took my name too. But I like this one, its obnoxious. 94Aug14 6:21 pm UP the AsS from Soul Eater and u are...=) 94Aug14 7:07 pm from from from from from from from Zeylan This BBS has seriously become a piece of shit. 94Aug14 7:14 pm from Spoot-nick!* Perceptive he is. 94Aug14 7:44 pm Rainbow Penryn from from Psyche No, it is not REALLY a piece of shit. Do you know what shit is? 94Aug14 8:46 pm from from from from from from from Zeylan Do tell us, O Keeper of All Knowledge of Shit. 94Aug14 8:56 pm from Real Mike Swanson Hi Psyche. What's your opinion on the Gooble-problem? And you, Spoot? 94Aug14 8:56 pm from Real Mike Swanson Et tu, Spoote? 94Aug14 9:29 pm from Charlotte Sometimes Hello, this is me. If someone fakes me you will know, because4 no one else could make as little sense in the same way. I just got back from a political camp and a romp in Northern Cal...I had fun, cept for the hospital thing. 94Aug14 9:49 pm from Real Mike Swanson What is the hospital thing? 94Aug14 10:42 pm from The REAL Hobgoblin Hmmmm. 94Aug15 7:59 am Rainbow Penryn from from Psyche Shit, Zeylan, is the stuff that comes out of your asshole. Excrement. A BBS is not something that came out of your asshole. 94Aug15 8:29 am from from from from from from from Zeylan This one is. 94Aug15 9:55 am from Spoot-nick!* I am overwhelmed. 94Aug15 10:12 am from The REAL Hobgoblin I'm amazed. 94Aug15 11:21 am from from from from from from from Zeylan Hey, Mike, I think we made little Tommy Tech cry. He logged on late last night and read what you and I wrote about him, then he left me an email on Swagland calling me "toejam" and other such nonsense. I guess we upset his natural balance of obnoxiousness by insulting him and Sizzle, who happens to be his brother (there's a whole dysfunctional genetic thing going on there). But I'm sure he'll be okay, he'll recooperate after screaming "WORK BREAK" a few times at passersby on the street. 94Aug15 2:45 pm from Real Mike Swanson I got a snivelly little message too. Funny thing is that he normally NEVER logs on here, so how did he know? He left me the e-mail here. DId Swag tip him off? 94Aug15 2:57 pm from from from from from from from Zeylan Probably. What did your email say? Same whining name-calling? What a fucking pansy. As Swagman said, he was the first BOARD BIFFER. A real legend in his own mind. 94Aug15 3:15 pm from Real Mike Swanson Yeah. Something like "get off your pills, Mike. If you are going to insult me at least be up-to-date." I can't see how he could possibly know to call here and check that out unless someone tipped him off. 94Aug15 3:21 pm from from from from from from from Zeylan "Up-to-date?" Oh, just because he hasn't biffed Swagland with his WORK BREAK bullshit within the last month, that's supposed to mean that he's not an asshole any more? Sorry, I don't buy that. He still feeds everyone that "work break" crap and he thinks it's so charming, so clever. Don't worry, he'll be back. He'll log on here or on Swagland and begin whining and name-calling and trying his damnedest to sound sophisticated and scathingly brilliant with his two-bit pathetic retorts. We'll see more of his "WORK BREAK" oxymoron phrase. Notice how "WORK" and "BREAK" contradict each other with him, sorta like "THINK" and "SPEAK" do. 94Aug15 4:17 pm from Swagman I don't 'spose any of those Gooble buffers Zeylan uploaded at Swagland piqued Tom's curiosity at all. Nah. 94Aug15 4:23 pm from Real Mike Swanson Oh, maybe that was it. I just wondered, because Tom Tech NEVER called here before. 94Aug15 5:35 pm from from from from from from from Zeylan What the hell could have set him off about those uploads? None of them had anything to do with him. None of them were messages from only me. They were mostly .Read Global Forwards from this place, and he didn't even fucking call here. It's not his problem. Fuck him.
94Aug25 9:19 am from l&tch in 5> no. 94Aug25 6:08 pm Detective Work from Luminary Coremaster in 5> I figured it out, kids. Board Biffer first called and erased the user-log by making tons of "l&tch" accounts. Then he made accounts under YOUR names; Psyche, Hobgoblin, Swagman, et cetera. By doing this, he made it appear like he was the sysop; you had to make alternative accounts, and then later he gave some of you the passwords to your "regular" accounts (which, again, were created by Board Biffer.) It was never the REAL sysop in the first place. He takes the God approach, and is too busy doing other stuff to constantly monitor one little society. Ya dig, daddy-o? Good. And as for the recent room biffing... Well, our real sysop decided to reset the BBS, because it was so corrupted. Board Biffer happened to call, and took this oppurtunity to make a bunch of rooms, so many in fact, that he filled up the floor so that no more rooms could be made. Again, this gives the apperance of him actually having sysop powers. So, now is the time for reconstruction. It's the New Deal. Let's get to work cleaning up our happy psuedo-home. 94Aug25 8:14 pm This is from Zeylan Who told you this? l&tch himself? This all sounds kinda... funny. 94Aug25 8:36 pm from Luminary Coremaster I figured it out (except for the last part about the rooms) and asked Palmer Young himself. He confirmed my suspicions, and told me that "l&tch" is indeed board biffer. 94Aug25 8:37 pm from Luminary Coremaster Oh, and I'm the one with the paranoid, conspiracy mind around here. So don't even start with that "this sounds kinda funny" stuff. 94Aug25 9:57 pm from Real Mike Swanson Well, actually, I figured out the first part earlier. I missed when the real sysop cleared the place though. The real question is is this place now going to be stable enough to be a viable BBS or is the sysop going to let it die again? 94Aug25 11:11 pm Kill Me from Captain Zerocks Yes, that BBS reset was the only thing missing in my mind. I was especially suspicious when I noticed that l&tch appeared in the caller-log (.rc), which local users do not do. Of course it was possible that the sysop had a separate system (or multitasking os) with which he called to biff the board (especially necessary if he were to use a program to do the biffing). 94Aug26 8:22 am from Roy Luminary, how did you ask the real Pamler Young? 94Aug26 8:47 am from Hannah Smithereen I think they were friends or something. So you know what? Remember where I said, "So this is a riddle, right? And if we figure it out we get to keep gooble, unharrassed?" I WAS RIGHT, POWER TO THE PEOPLE 94Aug26 10:37 am from Roy Down with the evil man! 94Aug26 12:07 pm from Iteration X YAH! Lummy is back1!!!!!!!! kisses! 94Aug26 12:58 pm from Hannah Smithereen Kisses, ooh. 94Aug26 1:17 pm This is from Zeylan I tried calling the real l&tch at home to offer some assistance but he's never home. 94Aug26 1:23 pm from Real Mike Swanson Too busy feeling the produce at Vons. 94Aug26 1:54 pm from Luminary Coremaster Well, ya can't blame him for that. 94Aug26 7:58 pm from Charlotte Sometimes Lum is our hero now, all hail te son of Brenda. 94Aug26 11:21 pm out of the Shadows from Ranger He's a God, we all know that... 94Aug26 11:42 pm from Real Mike Swanson Squeeze that squash. 94Aug27 12:27 am from Roy Why do you guys all know who the real l&tch IS?! 94Aug27 12:27 am from Roy I don't understand this. 94Aug27 4:48 am from Real Mike Swanson Well, heck, Roy, he's Zeylan's brother. I thought you knew that. The Biffer EXPOSED!>
94Sep16 5:08 pm from new how do i down lode 94Sep16 5:08 pm from new how do i down lode 94Sep16 5:08 pm from new how do i down lode 94Sep16 5:08 pm from new how do i down lode 94Sep16 5:08 pm from new how do i down lode 94Sep16 5:08 pm from new how do i down lode 94Sep16 5:09 pm from new how do i down lode 94Sep16 5:09 pm from new how do i down lode 94Sep16 5:09 pm from new how do i down lode 94Sep16 5:09 pm from new how do i down lode 94Sep16 5:09 pm from new how do i down lode 94Sep16 6:06 pm from Roy You press .rzb. 94Sep16 7:40 pm from Wadsworth. Long live the sysop! Lummy for pres! 94Sep17 12:24 am from MikeSwanson This place is thrashed again. Who keeps doing this? It is obviously someone who knows the place well. 94Sep17 12:48 am from Hobgoblin Hey, neat. I still have my account! 94Sep17 12:48 am from Hobgoblin Lalalala. Biffers are retards, ninny ninny ninny! 94Sep17 12:54 am from Coremaster I'm really annoyed. That stupid "Permanent Account" option didn't do a thing. And only a few random accounts stayed intact. And the biffer took all of our names and stuff. 94Sep17 1:07 am from Coremaster Here's what I just did. I went to all the secret rooms, and just Z (forgot) all of the others. Perhaps we should all do that, to avoid future biffs altogether. 94Sep17 1:29 am QWERTY Keyboards from The wombat But how do we know who to let in? 94Sep17 7:23 am from MikeSwanson This place is a wreck. I wish we had a sysop. 94Sep17 8:38 am from Ferris I wish we had a sysop too....I feel like we live in HAiti or something 94Sep17 1:10 pm from from Zeylan Okay. I found all the private rooms and Z'd all the other ones, especially the "shit 12345" rooms and the "/////&&&&\\\\\" rooms. Now what do we do about sysoping this place? We've long since established that the real sysop here is a lazy asshole. So Luminary, you're buddies with him, go get control back. 94Sep17 1:22 pm from MikeSwanson Luminary, you're going to have to do something, else there's no point in anyone calling here anymore. Someone needs to get it through to Palmer that he has to devote at least a tiny part of his time to sysoping; else he's just wasting his phone bill and electricity running this board. 94Sep17 2:15 pm from Lack of Sleep I guess I must be one of the lucky random ones that still has his handle. 94Sep17 8:22 pm from Hobgoblin How fucked up this is?! So, my account is still MY account, BUT... all my mail has been deleted except two random messages. STRRRRANGe. 94Sep17 10:06 pm from from Zeylan This is fucking stupid. You know what's worse? Sometimes this board is busy for hours and the caller log will reflect that NOBODY was logged on during that time. And right now this board is running slower than an XT being powered by a hamster running in a little wheel, so I know the sysop is here and he's multitasking. With about a half a byte of RAM, it seems. So the sysop is here, he uses the computer, he has to know what's going on unless he's Forrest Gump with a fucking modem. So why doesn't he lift one of those nose-picking fingers and do something about this fucked up BBS?! Jesus friggin christ. 94Sep17 10:37 pm from MikeSwanson Yes, it's really absurd. 94Sep18 8:37 am from Gretchen Woodpecker Maybe he really IS Forrest Gump. 94Sep18 9:47 am Jumpin' Jack from Dirk Shumaker Ho ho, Zeylan, you're getting some of your wonderful olde-tyme charm back. 94Sep18 10:04 am Jumpin' Jack from Dirk Shumaker Delete the 'shit' rooms, whaddaya say, Lummy? 94Sep18 10:11 am from from Zeylan I don't think Lummy has access to do anything, much less delete rooms. 94Sep18 10:17 am from MikeSwanson I am beginning to agree with Zeylan's last message. 94Sep18 10:17 am from MikeSwanson This BBS is a sewer. 94Sep18 11:03 am from from Zeylan Agreed. 94Sep18 2:52 pm from MikeSwanson RIP, 94Rock KCQR. 94Sep18 2:52 pm from MikeSwanson You mean that good Olde Fashioned Zeylan Charismee? 94Sep18 10:22 pm from from Zeylan Sounds like a really fucked up flavor of ice cream. 94Sep18 11:55 pm no consequence from Tim the Enchanter Any more stations around to play decent music, then? I'm in SY and am well out of KJEE range. 94Sep19 12:14 am from Elron har har 94Sep19 3:38 am from Lack of Sleep klos is pretty good. Yes, KLOS, 95.5. 94Sep19 3:55 am from Lack of Sleep It even has some astrology report every morning around 5. 94Sep19 5:39 am from MikeSwanson I remember when I was young and we used to have a good (goode) Olde Fashioned Zeylan Christmas. Chestnuts roasting over an open fire, savage invective nipping at your nose. 94Sep19 11:53 am from MikeSwanson Upon reflection, I've decided that "good Olde Fashioned Zeylan Charismee" sounds like the brand name for a particularly strong variety of enema. 94Sep19 12:20 pm from from Zeylan We'll have to take your word for it on that one, Mike. You're the expert. 94Sep19 12:31 pm from cheeselips I hate you! FUCK YOU! You asshole! You fucking shit! You witless mass of cheap ass used antimatter! You dull-witted bunch of lame ass dog meat! You crooked bucket of pud chewing pig entrails! You bovine lot of pansy fartin pig hemorrhoids! You piss smelling clustering of ignorant spine-less twits! You drool streaming shitload of lazy smelly Vogon underwear! You blone batch of bad breathed elephant cum! You indolent pool of nonexistent frog fat! You slovenly stack of retina-sluring shark snot! You selfish hump of double ugly nasal hairs! You snot sucking humungus love holes of ass sucking used antimatter! You ass kissing dribbly blob of hard underwear! You neurotic spoonful of rabbit raping dick drops! You four-legged twine of flea-bitten gorilla biscuits! You bad breathed bucket of pussy assed sinus drainage! You Pissant lunk of tit twisting glowing worm antenne! You unruly toilet full of maggot eaten underwear! You pitiful hill of polluted worn out maxi pads! You rabbit raping shitpile of snorting tit milk! You fudge laden anus full of clammy stable sweepings! You buttlipped pustule of pussy-like crotch crickets! You half-witted mound of penis spliting compost cakes! You god damned idiotic crusty anus full of shit faced dick grabbers! You recycled twine of trans-sexual leprousy scabs! You dorky ball of septic dorks! You preposterous toilet bowl of seething hippo dicks! You zoonecrophiliac vaginal lump of dead leprousy scabs! You plebeian shitload of slime dripping butt lips! You opinionated pot of shit smelling dog meat! You lame ass monkey's intestine of snorting barrel of leprocy scabs! You higher than hell excuse for dismal underwear! You Mother fucking testicle sack of wormy puke lumps! You grisly bailof crapy sewer seepage! You incompetent sack of moth-eaten cum cakes! You tedious crock of horn rimmed chicken guts! You pissed on bitch bastard with brains of ramrodding turkey testicles! You shit smelling jizz-sack of dormant mule froth! You vermin craving puddle of dickless turd juice! You clueless froth of crotch sniffing defecation worms! You inactive spoonful of tit eating cum wads! You dick banging vat of insufficient fat hick tits! You inactive douchbag full of dick banging turd juice! You low budget humungus love holes of rickety hemerroids! You polluted cocksucking pool of miserable sweat socks! You isopurple-alcohol-sucking glop of soggy whale waste! You mother-fucking mass of scuzzy twats! You perverted mass of tit eating fairy fucks! You trashy pissload of scrotum suckin penis wrinkles! You half-witted wheelbarrel full of vile cum! You uncultured shitload of fuckwadded cheesey discharge! You tit twisting snatch of blonde whale waste! You blithering mouthful of nerd shit anal suffocation! You butt sucking herpe full of irrational phlegm! You simmering cake of hair pulling igno farts! You lumpy conglomeration of scuzzy fuckheads! You useless pustule of butt-fuckerific moose entrails! You psychotic bag of fossilized nasal hairs! You unsightly excuse for fucking sweat socks! You hallucinating glop of pre-pubescent armpit hairs! You zero sperm-count cum shooting pustule of piss smelling dandruff flakes! You scroungy mouthful of animal bopping fag rejects! You dirty lot of unspeakable foot fungus! Youcock spitting conglomeration of rancid kidney bags! You crooked lot of ass kissing butt foam! You inane anus full of bubbly carrion pies! You trifling heap of malignant Mugatu dung! You acne-covered bite in the ass old cheesey discharge! You asexual cuntwad of appalling carrion pies! You maggot eaten twine of bubbly TWA barf bags! You degenerated stack of piss gulpin twats! You perverted shitpile of buttloving cum wads! You wang yanking crusty anus full of oblivious clits! You undersexed pustule of slithering pigeon bombs! You ugly-assed puddle of maliced airheads! You rat molesting blob of dumb-as-shit dildo crust! You moronic cum wad of desecrated nad jelly! You bullshit spurting buttload of deeply disturbed barf curds! You gross cum wad of cantankerous nad jelly! You chiwawa butt fuckin splattering of freeze dried carrion pies! You quim eating froth of lice infested assholes! You mortified bag of polluted pig hemorrhoids! You dusky lower intestine full of corpulent fucktwats! You corpse fucking loaf of brainless rotting armidillo entrails! You ass sucking massof pointless swamp slime! You shit faced bowl of crooked gorilla biscuits! You cunt lipped lot of tit shaped dicklick! You antisocial puss bubble of penis spliting fucks! You ungodly bundle of pitiful gay rights activist phlegm! You crooked-toothed pail of fusty slug slime! You negligent collection of unimpressive fecal matter! You plebeian toilet bowl of dumbass compost! You dilapidated cum load of naieve chicken guts! You crochety rotted anus full of puny perverts! You disgusting scum sucking anus full of douching navel lint! You mortified bucket of animal jacking pimple pus! You fatuous mass of shit pumping barrel of leprocy scabs! You herniated monkey's intestine of deranged flamming faggots! You wormy-assed hat of detrimented rotting herring retinas! You turd gulpin anus full of scrotum cheeked sewer seepage! You marred monkey's intestine of loathsome cunt mold! 94Sep19 12:32 pm from cheeselips Sorry, I just had to get that off my chest. I feel much better now. 94Sep19 12:57 pm from MikeSwanson Looks to me like "cheeselips" is your expert, Zeylan. 94Sep19 1:00 pm Jumpin' Jack from Dirk Shumaker Well. 94Sep19 1:25 pm from MikeSwanson Well? 94Sep19 1:32 pm from from Zeylan Looks more like "cheeselips" did a screen capture while in the "Insulting Door" on my BBS. Real original, shithead. 94Sep19 2:06 pm from Ferris Jeez. Was that suppose to be amusing? I didnt read the whole thing. Except that I saw leprosy was speller wrong. 94Sep19 2:27 pm holding hands from Gretchen Lilyspoone My dad's real happy that KCQR is gone. More money for us dirty capitalists over at KTYD. 94Sep19 2:32 pm holding hands from Gretchen Lilyspoone Will someone remind me all the names of the gooble undergorund stuff? THANKS 94Sep19 2:39 pm from MikeSwanson Tell your dad not to think he needs to play more "classic" rock to bring over he KCQR ex-listeners. KCQR's brand of rock and roll was so "classic" it made my teeth hurt. It's nice to hear REM instead of the Rolling Stones. 94Sep19 2:46 pm from from Zeylan Waitaminnit... I never listen(ed) to KCQR much. It's gone? What the fuck happened to it? It may have been a shitty station, but at least it was some competition for that other piece of shit KTYD. I wish KLOS came in a little clearer. It sounds shitty even on cable radio. Ah well, that's what CDs are for. 94Sep19 2:54 pm from MikeSwanson It's now playing salsa and ranchera. =( (KCQR, that is) 94Sep19 3:06 pm from from Zeylan Salsa and ranchera? How can the radio play my fucking dinner? 94Sep19 3:50 pm from Luminary Coremaster I've pretty much decided that I'm not going to delete any of the rooms. I like them all, even the ones the biffer created. They're interesting. 94Sep19 3:50 pm from Wadsworth. hurhurhur 94Sep19 3:50 pm from Wadsworth *smile* 94Sep19 3:50 pm from Mike Swanson This BBS is a toilet. 94Sep19 3:53 pm from MikeSwanson Warning: that's the biffer posting. If Luminary would get off his ASS he'd fix this place 94Sep19 3:55 pm from Luminary Coremaster I can't seem to figure out how to fix the user log. It's not my fault. 94Sep19 3:56 pm from Real Mike Swanson What the fuck? This is the first time I've logged in since the biffing and I see I've been impersonated by the biffer. Several times. Luminary, do you have access to fix this? This BBS has really gone downhill. 94Sep19 3:57 pm from Roy What happened to this place. Hu. 94Sep19 3:57 pm from Zeylan Fuck you. I'm a bitch! 94Sep19 3:57 pm from Luminary My account is really messed up. I can't even download. 94Sep19 3:58 pm from l&tch i hate myself and i want to die. this bbs is a reflection of my self-loathing. 94Sep19 3:58 pm from Francis Hi! 94Sep19 3:58 pm from Pimp DADDY Anyone have any porno gifs? 94Sep19 4:00 pm from Psyche That would be PUNK FUCKING ROCK. Riot grrrrls are KEWL. 94Sep19 4:20 pm from Reed Obviously the biffer is a person who frequents this board often. 94Sep19 4:28 pm from from Zeylan Jesus goddamned christ. It's like the biffer is our psychotherapist. 94Sep19 4:29 pm from from Zeylan God damn it, I WANT MY ACCOUNT BACK. This is annoying. 94Sep19 4:32 pm from Ferris I think its kinda fun! 94Sep19 4:39 pm holding hands from Gretchen Lilyspoone OH COOL. I've always wanted an impersonator. Do i really give off that riot grrl quality? weirdo. 94Sep19 5:21 pm from Coremaster Oh goodie, I have TWO people immitating me. Alright, first thing first. I am the real Luminary Coremaster. I'll prove it to y'all by being in the Gooble Underground. Also. Since my former Luminary Coremaster was deleted, so was my Sysop access. So, at present time, I can't do anything to fix this. Sorry kids. I was very disappointed to learn that the "Permanent" option that I gave a bunch of you, well it only gives you priority of not being deleted, until the caller-log is filled up. After that, it deletes you (otherwise it just deletes people at random). Geez. The biffer is one twisted spud. These accounts are kinda funny tho. 94Sep19 6:42 pm from Reed I think he is a fuckhead. 94Sep19 8:37 pm from Ferris I wasnt imperonated right though. When I said those things, "*smile*", or harhar, its cause I was impersontaing someone else. Well. Ok. I guess thats cool to imperonate someone impersonating someone else. I dig that, daddy-o. 94Sep19 10:35 pm from Lack of Sleep Cheeseball or what ever lips yeah, cheeselips has obviously read The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, that is unless he captured it. Or she, mind you. 94Sep20 8:58 am from from Zeylan No, wrong. As I said, he captured that off the Insulting Door program that's running on my BBS. I recognize some of the insults that it randomly creates. 94Sep20 9:59 am from Lack of Sleep NO, fuck you. Notice I stated, 'that is unless he captured it.' I was going to give you some credit by saying something like, 'Zeylan's probably right though.' But NO! fuck you and your smug false godhood. 94Sep20 11:12 am from from Zeylan Looks like someone's been in the cocaine again. 94Sep20 11:28 am from Real Mike Swanson Looks like this BBS is a waste of time. 94Sep20 11:28 am from Hannah Smithereen Dude, that is SO KEWL. Your so ALTERNATIVELY R80. 94Sep20 11:29 am from Mike Swanson The biffer is impersonating me again I see. 94Sep20 11:29 am from Roy Hu. That sucks. 94Sep20 11:29 am from Zeylan Fuck off you drug addicted piece of shit. 94Sep20 11:31 am from Luminary The biffer has succeeded where I have failed. Residents! Barnes&Barnes! DEVO! 94Sep20 11:32 am from l&tch i have failed in every aspect of my life. this bbs is proof. 94Sep20 11:32 am from Balclutha I... must... have... POGS 94Sep20 11:33 am from Pimp DADDY It's porn gifs for me. Fuck that pog shit. 94Sep20 11:43 am from Real Mike Swanson I wish Luminary would get off his ASS and do something about this. 94Sep20 11:43 am from Luminary Coremaster I already told you, I don't know what I'm doing. 94Sep20 11:44 am from Zeylan That's because you're fucking stupid. 94Sep20 11:44 am from Hannah Smithereen Mike, we FEEL YOUR PAIN. 94Sep20 11:45 am from Hannah Smithereen Did I mention my daddy is famous? He works for KTYD. I'm alternative. 94Sep20 11:46 am from Zeylan You're a whore, that's what you are. 94Sep20 11:46 am from Wadsworth. *giggle* 94Sep20 11:46 am from Roy I'm eating a sandwich. Hu. It's cool. 94Sep20 11:47 am from Real Mike Swanson I don't know why I even call here any more. 94Sep20 11:48 am from Mike Swanson Stop impersonating me. Where's the sysop? 94Sep20 11:48 am from l&tch leave me alone, my life is a mess. 94Sep20 11:49 am from Luminary Coremaster I don't remember how to get to the private rooms. Is there a help file for sysops here? 94Sep20 11:50 am from Wadsworth. I have privates. 94Sep20 11:52 am from Francis This isn't very funny. 94Sep20 1:58 pm holding hands from Gretchen Lilyspoone This is fucking hillarious, except for ONE THING. *I* don't EVER mess up "your" and "you're." Any good impersonator would know that. 94Sep20 2:04 pm Pineapple Sponge from Gretchen Lilyspoone There. There's my new MCf. 94Sep20 2:50 pm from Ferris AHHH! Im NOT being impersonated right god dammit. Why do these things always happen to me. I never talked baout pogs before. 94Sep20 3:16 pm from from Zeylan The biffer is one strange dude. 94Sep20 3:21 pm from Coremaster That was hilarious, in a self-depreciating kind of way. 94Sep20 4:12 pm from Reed The biffer is kinda funny. 94Sep20 4:31 pm from from Zeylan The biffer is a fucking retard. 94Sep20 4:51 pm from Charlotte Sometimes I am rooted in the soil today ladies and gentleman. truely swept cleart of tomorrow and stuck in the mud. I feel like a sprite that has been left out too long, probably chemical, but that doesn't stop the incial problem which is that i feel like shit. 94Sep20 6:18 pm from Lack of Sleep Stop touching yourself. 94Sep20 8:22 pm from Ferris Witherspoon moan 94Sep20 10:11 pm from Charlotte Sometimes i want you all to know that hair is unimportant. 94Sep20 10:16 pm from from Zeylan In certain areas, anyway. 94Sep20 10:46 pm `.' ANARCHY `.' from $0FJG.PVT Ahh. Sweet, sweet, anarchy. 94Sep21 11:43 am from Luminary Coremaster I'm trying to resolve the anarchy problem, but I can't find the sysop menu. 94Sep21 11:43 am from Wadsworth. (inane diatribe) 94Sep21 11:44 am from Mike Swanson Luminary, can't you fix this? Maybe we should elect a new sysop. 94Sep21 11:45 am from Real Mike Swanson Attention: That's the biffer posting. This BBS is a porta-potty. 94Sep21 11:45 am from Hannah Smithereen d00d, you need to RELAX. I've been to Spain! 94Sep21 11:45 am from Roy Hu. That's where the mexicans are. 94Sep21 11:46 am from Zeylan There are no Mexicans in Spain, you fucking stupid retard cocksucker! 94Sep21 11:47 am from Luminary I'd delete that post if I only knew how. Hurhurhurhurhurhurhurhur! Whip it good! 94Sep21 11:48 am from l&tch i love this bbs. i hate this bbs. i love this bbs. i hate myself. i hate this bbs. i hate everything. someone please unplug me from life support. 94Sep21 11:48 am from Francis This is all so confusing. 94Sep21 11:48 am from Balclutha Stop talking about Pogs. I've never pogged in my life. 94Sep21 11:49 am from Pimp DADDY PORN GIFS!!!! Where are they? 94Sep21 11:54 am from Luminary Coremaster I'd create a file directory for gifs... if I only knew how. 94Sep21 11:55 am from Wadsworth. sheep have fur 94Sep21 11:55 am from Real Mike Swanson This is pathetic. Does ANYONE here have sysop abilities? 94Sep21 12:25 pm from from Zeylan What is the point of all this? 94Sep21 1:47 pm from Ferris Witherspoon This is so fun! Whats a diatribe? 94Sep21 1:57 pm holding hands from Gretchen Lilyspoone No no no, FRANCIS was the one who went to SPain. *I* went to Lake tahoe. 94Sep21 3:10 pm from from Zeylan I'm going back to bed. 94Sep21 4:18 pm from Charlotte Sometimes I want to hold a Beatnik night at the former UFCW or whatever...I think it would be cool. Spoken wordists, people on Bass. Or esle I was thinking a swing night, see if I could get someone to doante a lesson for one night, i know lots of people who would love to come learn to swing. 94Sep21 5:39 pm `.' ANARCHY `.' from $0FJG.PVT Look, I know Asgard just about as well as the guy who wrote it.. if someone wants me to do something, give me some access, dammit. 94Sep21 5:43 pm `.' ANARCHY `.' from $0FJG.PVT Actually, this board is pretty neat.. 94Sep21 5:57 pm `.' ANARCHY `.' from $0FJG.PVT ____ __ __ ____ ____ ___ / / | | | | / / _ | __| |o / / /__ | | | | / \/ | | | _|_ | /___ / // \ | | | | \ \ _| |_| / | _ / ( \/ /_ __ | |_ | | __ /\ \_ __ |__ _| / ||/ /_ ____ __ \ /o \/o \|o \| |/o/_\ /.\/o \/ _|| | /\/\| /o Y o \\/ / \____/\__/\__/\___/|_|\__/ \___/_|_\__/_/|_| |__/_\/_\_/\__/ _/) / | | / / ANARCHY IN PURE BBS FORM -- 683-0035 Running | |/ / Asgard-86 | |_/ 24 hours -- many users -- many messages v1.49e |_| 94Sep21 6:02 pm from Reed Hhahahahahahahaahha 94Sep21 6:26 pm from from Zeylan Well, at least now I know that $0FAG.PVT is Dark Doctor X. 94Sep21 6:52 pm holding hands from Gretchen Lilyspoone SO I'm sorta dreaming about having Big Bad Voodoo Daddy at the UFCW for swing night, have people dress up and stuff, but it ain't gonna happen. 94Sep21 7:48 pm from Coremaster Yes indeed, it looks like DDX is back. Woo-hoo. 94Sep21 8:14 pm from MikeSwanson I can remember when LC and DDX were buddies. 94Sep21 8:39 pm from from Zeylan I remember when they used to emulate each other like a demented pair of misfit clones. 94Sep21 9:03 pm from Ferris Witherspoon I am sick and dying. 94Sep21 9:22 pm from Coremaster I remember all of that too. That was a couple years ago, though. 94Sep22 12:28 am from MikeSwanson What happened? 94Sep22 1:27 am from Lack of Sleep Lumie realised how lame DDX was/is. 94Sep22 3:39 am from MikeSwanson Nice to see you developing your ventriloquist skills, Lack of Sleep. 94Sep22 9:27 am from Lack of Sleep Why thank you. But the hand up your ass isn't mine. 94Sep22 9:35 am `.' ANARCHY `.' from $0FJG.PVT Yeah man, I suck. Heh he h. 94Sep22 11:30 am from MikeSwanson There's no hand up my ass. I was referring to the strings you seem to pull on the Coremaster. 94Sep22 2:42 pm from Luminary Coremaster He's not pulling my strings. But it would be nice if SOMEONE was in control of my life. 94Sep22 2:42 pm from Wadsworth. *snorkle* 94Sep22 2:42 pm from Mike Swanson This is getting very old. 94Sep22 2:45 pm from Hannah Smithereen Dude, it's hella R80. It's ALTERNATIVE. Tori Amos is my LESBIAN MENTOR. 94Sep22 2:45 pm from Real Mike Swanson Luminary, can you please put a stop to this? I'm going to stop calling here. 94Sep22 2:45 pm from Roy Hu. Hu hu hu. 94Sep22 2:46 pm from Dark Doctor X I'm back! I've decided to start BBSing again! HURHURHURHURHURHURHURHURHURHUR HURHURHURHURHURHURHURHURHURHURHURHURHURHURHURHURHURHURHURHURHURHURHURHURHUR!!! Luminary, let's all praise Devo together! 94Sep22 2:46 pm from Dark Doctor X hur! 94Sep22 2:46 pm from Dark Doctor X hur! 94Sep22 2:46 pm from Dark Doctor X hur! 94Sep22 2:46 pm from Dark Doctor X hur! 94Sep22 2:47 pm from Dark Doctor X I am NOT a biffer. 94Sep22 2:47 pm from Zeylan You're a fucking idiot, that's what you are. 94Sep22 2:47 pm from Luminary DDX! You're back! Can you help me with the sysop functions? Barnes&Barnes! 94Sep22 2:48 pm from l&tch everyone leave me alone. i would reformat the hard drive to destroy this place, but that would require some effort on my part. 94Sep22 2:49 pm from Wadsworth. [------////****teehee****\\\\------] 94Sep22 2:49 pm from Pimp DADDY I still can't find the porn gifs. I'm going into withdrawl now. 94Sep22 2:49 pm from Dark Doctor X Hey, are there any porn Amiga files on here? 94Sep22 2:50 pm from Dark Doctor X I am NOT a biffer. 94Sep22 2:50 pm from Dark Doctor X I am NOT a biffer. 94Sep22 2:50 pm from Dark Doctor X I am NOT a biffer. 94Sep22 2:50 pm from Dark Doctor X I do not use macros. I do not use macros. I do not use macros. I do not use macros. I do not use macros. I do not use macros. I do not use macros. I do not use macros. I do not use macros. I do not use macros. I do not use macros. I do not use macros. I do not use macros. I do not use macros. I do not use macros. I do not use macros. I do not use macros. I do not use macros. I do not use macros. I do not use macros. I do not use macros. I do not use macros. I do not use macros. 94Sep22 2:51 pm from Real Mike Swanson I'm really going to stop calling if you don't stop that. 94Sep22 2:52 pm from Dark Doctor X I'm so cute. I'm so lonely. I'm so cute. I'm so lonely. I'm so cute. I'm so lonely. I'm so cute. I'm so lonely. I'm so cute. I'm so lonely. I'm so cute. I'm so lonely. I'm so cute. I'm so lonely. I'm so cute. I'm so lonely. I'm so cute. I'm so lonely. I'm so cute. I'm so lonely. I'm so cute. I'm so lonely. I'm so cute. I'm so lonely. I'm so cute. I'm so lonely. I'm so cute. I'm so lonely. I'm so cute. I'm so lonely. I'm so cute. I'm so lonely. I'm so cute. I'm so lonely. I'm so cute. I'm so lonely. I'm so cute. I'm so lonely. I'm so cute. I'm so lonely. I'm so cute. I'm so lonely. I'm so cute. I'm so lonely. 94Sep22 2:52 pm from Dark Doctor X Okay, since you all hate me, I'm never calling BBSes again. 94Sep22 2:53 pm from Zeylan Good riddance, you stupid fucking goddamned asshole peckerhead fuck shit fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. 94Sep22 2:54 pm from Francis Hi! 94Sep22 2:55 pm from Luminary Coremaster The biffer erased my password. Honest. 94Sep22 2:55 pm from Wadsworth. my mommy loves me 94Sep22 2:55 pm from Dark Doctor X Okay! I'm back now! Here I am! Did you miss me? HURHURHURHURHURHURHURHURHUR 94Sep22 3:59 pm from Tim the Enchanter My ego is much bigger than your brain. 94Sep22 4:00 pm from Elron I biff, therefore I am. 94Sep22 4:02 pm from Coremaster I give up. I'm the worst sysop in the world. If only the Residents wrote songs about suicide... 94Sep22 4:02 pm from Reed Hu. 94Sep22 4:03 pm from Balclutha I still like pogs. 94Sep22 4:04 pm `.' ANARCHY `.' from $0FJG.PVT I am the best ascii artist in the world! I am so cute. I am so lonely. Hur! 94Sep22 4:05 pm from Ferris Witherspoon Hu. That's cool. 94Sep22 4:05 pm from Charlotte Sometimes sometimes I tend to babble on and on about stupid stuff. Let me know when that happens, k? 94Sep22 4:06 pm from Gretchen Lilyspoone That's kewl, cuz WE STILL WORSHIP YOU. You're alternative. 94Sep22 4:09 pm from Lack of Sleep I spend three hours online because I have trouble with long words. I was dropped a bunch of times when I was a baby. 94Sep22 4:09 pm from Reed Hahahahahahahahahah 94Sep22 4:10 pm from MikeSwanson This is really fucking lame. I'm never calling here again. This time I really mean it. Maybe. Where's the sysop? 94Sep22 5:36 pm from EEko hmmm. 94Sep22 7:21 pm from Hobgoblin You forgot my account, dumbshit. 94Sep23 7:00 am from Anna Farther So anyhow, let's get on with it, shall we? 94Sep23 7:18 am from Doctor X Yeah, where the fuck is the sysop? I bet he's watching and laughing.. 94Sep23 3:09 pm from Hobgoblin Oh. 94Sep24 1:31 am from from Mike Swanson Weird. 94Sep24 9:51 am from Doctor X "Oh." 94Sep24 11:39 am from from Zeylan "Hurhur." 94Sep24 2:46 pm from from Mike Swanson "Hur hur hur" 94Sep24 5:22 pm from Captain Zerocks This sucks. Oops, gotta set my MCF. 94Sep24 5:22 pm ASCII text from Captain Zerocks eThat's better. 94Sep24 5:34 pm ASCII text from Captain Zerocks I laugh in the face of the biffer, and some of my spittle is hitting him/her in the face, ha ha! 94Sep24 6:54 pm from Captain Zerocks The biffer is my personal hero! Hail the biffer! My idol! 94Sep24 6:55 pm from Hobgoblin You forgot my account, shithead! Haha! 94Sep24 6:55 pm from Luminary Coremaster I have no penis. 94Sep24 6:57 pm from Anna Farther I have one. Maybe you can borrow it sometime. That would be ALTERNATIVE. 94Sep24 7:00 pm from Dark Doctor X Has everyone seen my TV show called "What's UP?" The grownups at the station pretend to let me produce. I am so cute. I am so smart. I am so lonely. HURHUR. 94Sep24 7:01 pm from from Mike Swanson This BBS really sucks. Where's the sysop? 94Sep25 9:46 am from Royee Out of control. My GOD. 94Sep25 10:08 am from Ferris Whitaker Why doesnt Lummy plat hero again and call him up. do ddo do do ((G)) 94Sep25 12:52 pm from Luminary Coremaster That reminds me of a Residents song! EVERYTHING reminds me of a Residents song! I love Spam. Hurhuhur!!!! ((((((((((((((((((((((((G)))))))))))))))))))))))) 94Sep25 12:54 pm from Wadsworth. (((((((G))))))) 94Sep25 1:07 pm sleeping ghostly from Jessica Lyn Perry Fuck this shit. 94Sep25 1:38 pm from LumiCore Hmm, that was obnoxious. 94Sep25 1:45 pm from LumiCore Why don't I "plat hero," Ferris? Because of comments like that from people like you, that's why. Why should I go out of my way to make this a good place to be, with unappreciative idiots like you running around? Go shave your head or something. 94Sep25 2:20 pm sleeping ghostly from Jessica Lyn Perry Maybe it wasn't even him. Maybe it was the biffer. 94Sep25 2:21 pm sleeping ghostly from Jessica Lyn Perry FIGHT FIGHT!! fight 94Sep25 2:29 pm from Ferris Whitaker Were you ever a sysop Lummy? ahh..I revel in your bitterness. 94Sep25 9:47 am from Royee I think he's got a biff macro. Maybe I'll make a "forget shit rooms and go to the underground" macro. 94Sep25 10:13 am from Ferris Whitaker Spam was popular in the south pacific because canabalism was banned. I hear Spam tastes like human flesh. 94Sep25 10:17 am from Coremaster, Luminar Thats a TOTAL lie Ferris, a TOTAL lie. I know that for a fact!! Who supplies you this ignorant information? Sheesh! Hey, that reminda me of a zany song by he Residents! "Cannabalism is fun! Human flesh tastes good! Oh hee hee he! Oh Haw HAw Haw. How I love to dine on gallbladders!" Werent those lyrics masterful? Whaha (((G))) 94Sep25 12:53 pm from Luminary Coremaster How dare you insult Spam????!!!! What kind of inhuman person are you? Hey, that reminds me of a Residents gon! ((((((((((((G))))))))))) 94Sep25 12:54 pm from Wadsworth. haha. ((((((((((G))))))))) 94Sep25 1:09 pm sleeping ghostly from Jessica Lyn Perry HELP me THIS IS DRIVING ME batty. 94Sep25 1:41 pm from LumiCore Sabin did that Coremaster, Luminar biff. Check out the spelling mistakes. Stupid idiot. 94Sep25 2:21 pm sleeping ghostly from Jessica Lyn Perry "stupid idiot" OOH OOOOhhh 94Sep25 2:35 pm from Ferris Whitaker the anger!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :> Anyhow, I didnt do that biff but think what you wish. LA LA LA SO do LA fa MI do RAY....ANd I aint "stupud," Forest.
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